OverFlowThoughts

Name:
Location: Portland, Oregon, United States

What's to tell really... I was lost and now I'm found, I was blind and now I see... Give Him a chance and you will see too.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

A Break with no Breaks! --Yee Haw!


Well, it's mid-semester break, AKA Spring Break, from seminary and I'm lovin' it. It seems like ever since Good Friday last week something refreshing and invigorating has taken hold of me. I think that in order for God to get a hold of me, I have to repent and surrender to him. It's such a mysterious ongoing relational process that words are totally inadequate to describe.

Anyways, I've been catching up on some much needed cleaning and projects around the house and beyond, as well as reconnecting with some distant and not so distant friends. School projects are still at the bottom of the list, but gradually making their way up. I'm excited about getting some work done on planning a week long mission trip to Mississippi to help support our community development friends at the John Perkins Foundation with the Zacheria 8 project in mid-May. It's also been wonderful to have some peaceful time in the scriptures, particular John 10 & 11. I'm amazed at how the close proximity of Jesus in peoples live will evoke some kind of transformation inside them. Whether it's embracing them or hurting him, the simple truth of some kind of relational interaction is guaranteed to produce change, be it good or bad. The worst thing that can happen, from the examples in what I've been reading, is that the people would ignore Jesus, or run away from Him, in some desperate attempt to imagine Him simply "going away". But my experience has shown me that He doesn't simply "go away", instead He relentlessly pursues me with His Holy Love and crashes at time, but more often gently nudges me into His warm embrace. Praise God!, right?

Speaking of praises... I just got back yesterday from my first snow board excursion up at Mt.Hood here in Oregon. It was AWESOME! Granted I spent most of the time on my butt, as I am new to the world of "shreading the gnar" (it means to snow board well:) However, I still had a blast taking in all of God's beauty, both in the magnificent landscapes and just hangout with two of my good buddies from school who went with me. My prayers were definitly heard in regards to my request to not break any bones. Spring Break with NO BREAKS! Yee-Haw! God truly does lavish us with His love.

So, does anyone else have some cool spring break stories to tell, or maybe just ways you've seen God in your life or others around you? I'd love to hear them. Email anytime at: silver.smith@hotmail.com

Laters:)

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Sabbath Reflections

Sabbath Reflections

As I reflect on the past four weeks of class discussions, my reading of Sabbath Keeping, and my personal meditations of what the Sabbath means to me, I can't help but take a deep refreshing breath. After all, it's a lot to take in. My lungs fill with air as my chest rises and my shoulders ease backward. I hold this breath as I my mind wonders if I can inhale even one more ounce of air. Slowly, I begin to exhale out through my nose, noticing the feeling of the swift tingle of warm spent air through both of my nostrils. My chest deflates, my shoulders begin to fall, and I realize I am as relaxed as I've ever been. This is what the Sabbath means to me. That sounds really good to me. Unfortunately, it's not the reality of where I find myself in my observance of the Sabbath.

These past four weeks have really challenged my view of how I am to engage in practicing a true Sabbath rest. It was interesting to learn that eight out of the ten commandments given to the Israelites by God through Moses on Mt. Sinai were concerning actions to abstain from. "Thou shall not…" do this or that. Only two of them were dealt with a positive action. One being to "honor your father and mother" found in Exodus 20:12, and the other being about the Sabbath. Exodus 20:8-11 says,

Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

Not only was this a positive commandment, but I also found it interesting that it preceded the Law. God set this day aside as a day of rest for us before He even made us. That blows my mind!

In the past, it's always been tough for me to wrestle with the taking on rules and regulations of how to live as a Christian. I understand that the boundaries of morality that God prescribes for us are for our benefit and not our harm. However, when it comes to putting certain spiritual disciplines into practice, I tend to shift into a legalistic mindset and find my worth being directly connected to the achievement of all the "do's and don'ts" much like the Pharisees during Jesus' time. For this reason I tend to swing in the opposite direction of them, making sure I'm not locked into a value of myself based on my own righteousness.

That's why it's hard for me to think of the Sabbath as preceding the Law. It's made me rethink some of the things Jesus taught about Sabbath. As is the case with other laws, which governed the Jewish life, Jesus came on the scene fulfill the Law, not abolish it. In fulfilling it, Jesus continually pointed to the spirit or heart of which we are to carry out the actions that are as God desires them to be. I can obey these laws in spirit and in truth, and not be weighted down by them, but instead be freed to live the best way possible. This is the way God intended us to live from the beginning. Keeping the Sabbath holy is part of that.

One of the primary things which is now reshaping my view of what Sabbath looks like in my life has come about as I've asked myself why God rested on the seventh day of creation. I find it strange that this day of rest is apart of the creation account. What does this rhythm of God's design mean for me? Practically speaking, why should I observe a day of rest apart from the other six? It seems somewhat legalistic. It makes more since to me to rest in God's presence everyday of the week, not just one. But there's something new that I've discovered as I've recently been experimenting, for lack of a better word, with observing a true 24-hour day of rest. I've learned that it actually works better! I'm able to live and breathe in God's presence even more during the other six days of the week. It's like the Sabbath day leaks, or bleeds into the other days. Before I go on any further, I should probably unpack what exactly I've discovered are the do's and don'ts of my Sabbath.

First and foremost, the most important thing above all else concerning the Sabbath is always, always, always remembering that it is a gift, not a requirement. Jesus says in Mark 2:27 that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. This has been so vital in engaging with God in true communion. If I find myself doing something as a sense of obligation or duty, I try my best to stop as quickly as possible and ask myself why it is that I'm doing it in the first place. Treating the Sabbath as a gift allows me to embrace it as a celebration day instead of a thing I have to do.

One key area I'm learning is that practicing a day of rest is a process, not a product. In the past, I've always struggled with resting in God's presence, sitting in silence and simply reflecting on God is difficult for me. I've realized that since I've never really done this kind of thing before, it's probably going to take me a while before I'm comfortable with it. In the mean time, I've satisfied with being uncomfortable with it. I look at it as a life long learning process, and that's OK with me. In fact, I'm now realizing more that ever that the more difficult it is, the more I'm doing it right. For six days I produce, produce, and produce. My physiological brain response is geared toward the adrenaline I get from accomplishing this task and that goal. It makes sense that my body has been going through a kind of a shock reflex when I've begun to make space to slow down. I'm resting easier in the knowledge that my worth is not determined by what I produce.

Some practical things I'm discovering about what it means to "cease from work" on the Sabbath have really been helpful in creating space for true rest. One of the things has been to put any kind of "to do" list away for that day. Another helpful thing that I've been looking at is what my regular week looks like. Electronic devices play a large role in my daily life. Whether it's the constant ease of connection associated with my cell phone, or the distraction of television and internet surfing, modern day conveniences are somewhat inconvenient when it comes to making space for God's presence. As a seminary student, most of my week involves reading and studying God's word. On my Sabbath, I take a break from this. My week also involves interacting with lots of different people and connecting through conversations almost all the time. So, I refrain from large social gatherings and interaction where I'm likely to engage, or be engaged in lots of discussions. I also have a part-time job during the week, so I'm careful not to be scheduled on my day of rest. My only task is that I have no task, which leads me into the ways that I engage true rest in God on my Sabbath.

Again, the most important thing is that I don't view any of these practices as requirements or obligations. I desire to enter into the spirit of this gift that God has given me. Lynne Baab's book, Sabbath Keeping, has really opened my eyes to some helpful ways to engage entering into God's presence more intentionally. In one section, she talks about what it means to engage our senses through experiencing God's creation. There's always been something so refreshing to me about soaking in the enormity of God through a breathtaking view. I love to be out in nature. There's just something that gets to my soul while I'm taking a leisurely stroll through the park, or making an afternoon out of a day trip on a hiking trail. That's of course considering the weather cooperates. Just in case, however, sometimes a simply pulling up a chair under my porch and listening and watching the rain drizzle down for a while is good too. Enjoying a delicious glass of wine, or one of Portland's very own micro-brewed beers can also pass the time while slowing down enough to remember all I have to be thankful for.

There's an art to remembering and reflecting on God. Sometimes it comes through experiencing His creation, while other times I'm drawn into the story of His relationship to me in my own personal salvation. I'm conscience of the importance to make space for God to guide and direct my times of stillness the way He desires. It's been difficult to keep obstacles from interfering with times of reflection, but I'm confident that God is working in building me to experience His fullness according to His timing. For now, my times of meditative reflection are short, but very potent. I've already experienced such wonderful blessings through them that I am certain they will continue to deepen as time goes by.

As I continue to explore what it means to truly be "alive in Christ" I keep coming to the realization that I often feel like a zombie. I think I've been alive but at the same time still dying inside. The word Sabbath first appears in the Old Testament in Exodus 16:23 when God provides manna from the sky and tells the Israelites to gather twice as much on the sixth day so that they don't have to be concerned about having food the next day. Instead, God tells them to enter this seventh day of rest. I am learning that similar to these Israelites who God led out of Egypt, out of a land of slavery where their worth came from how many bricks they could produce, I too have been given a gift of a day of rest. This is where space has been made to celebrate my worth through my relationship to my Creator, not based on what I do, but grounded instead in His eternal love for me, Benjamin Richard Malick. Sabbath gives me the energy I need to exist for another six days. It is that deep refreshing breath of true life that carries me more fully into the arms of my Savior throughout the week.


Saturday, January 26, 2008

2 weeks in....

So, I'm 2 weeks into the semester and already feeling overwelmed. That didn't take long. I'm having second thoughts about the work load I've taken upon myself. I've been thinking about what Jesus says about rest for the weary. In Matthew 11 he says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. So I ask myself... Is the heaviness I'm feeling from a source outside of God? Have I taken on more than I can handle? Why have I done this? Is it for validation? Am I just swept up again in cultural "busyness"?

Either way... I've felt the joy of learning quickly escape me. I pray for balance and more effeciancy in using the time that I've been given.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Benefits that don't benefit?

Well, I was recently reminded that it's been almost a month since I've updated my blog. Time sure does fly, right? Things are really going well here in Portland with school, community, friends, provision, and most of all Jesus. As I came here about six weeks ago I was almost to the point of "blah" in my relationship with God. I'm not saying the summer wasn't great or anything. I was diffenately being stretched in new ways by living with my sister in Mississippi during her back surgery recovery time. It's just that my heart really wasn't connecting with Jesus' love or something. It's kind of hard to explain. I really think that, like so often before, I was getting in the way.

For a long time now I think that I've been at the center of my relationship with God. Without even really realizing it. I've been continually focusing at all the benefits that come with knowing and experiencing God's love. These are in no way bad. Infact, they're awesome! Through Christ's love I've been transformed, made new. Old self, old habits, old perspective have all completely been turned upside down and spun around. But was I in it just for the benefits? So often I've heard in church, "Come to Jesus and he'll fix your hurts, or he'll restore your broken relationships, or he'll even repair your bank account." It just seems like a very consumeristic approach to God's love, doesn't? It's like I've been attracted to this one-stop shop of Jesus fixes all. And sure..., with relationship with Him, beneficial transformation definately occurs, but if that's all I'm in it for, then what about the parts of the Bible that I'm reading that talk about uniting with Christ's suffering and pain in our connection to the world? Loving our enemies, giving better than receiving, that's not all that desirable to me. Where do all these things fit into my consumption of "Benefit(ME) Jesus"?

I'm realizing more and more each day that I can't go on simply consuming God's love. Instead, God's love is consuming me. It surrounds me, penetrates me, overflows out of me. It gives itself away to us all, beckoning us to participate in the hardest situations and relationships to show this love. Dorothy Day has this amazing quote that comes to mind. (And if you don't know who Dorothy is I strongly recommend you google her when you finish reading this.) She says that the only thing harder than hatred is love. One of the leading theologians of the 20th century, Karl Barth, was asked one day what the most profound discovery he ever found of God in all the scriptures This was asked of a brilliant aged man who spent countless hours contemplating and living this gospel his entire life. Amongst some of the other greatest intellectual theologians in the entire world he simply answered, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so." Jesus loves YOU, and He loves ME, and He loves His whole creation!

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away." Romans 8:38 NLT

I can only explain my previous disconnect with God's love was the result of my lack of acknowledging it was within my midst. Other things have always gotten in the way of me knowing, experiencing and seeing it. Who would have thought the the benefits of Christ would be one of those things?

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Fall Course Schedule

So, a couple of folks were asking me what courses I'm taking here in Portland. Let me just say that these courses are so awesome that it hardly feels like school. Of course, I'm only starting week 2. We'll see how it goes...




Course Schedule:
Multnomah 2007/Fall Semester

1.Genesis through Song of Solomon
2.Principles of Inductive Bible Study
3.Principles of Spiritual Formation
4.Christian Theology I

Total Credits: 12.00
That's 12 hours of classroom time, plus twice as long out of class, figure 24 hours of study and reading time. That's about 36 hours of God study every week. Pretty freakin' sweet!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Living, Communing, and Learning here in Portland!




Hey Everyone. Figured now would be a great time to throw up a new post. Well, the past two weeks here in Portland has been fantastic! This town ROCKS! Soo much life and beauty, the people are amazingly creative and passionate about so many wonderful resonating things that have long been close to my heart. Areas of social justice and environment are very important here. There is a vibe in this place that longs for originality and authenticity unlike anywhere I've been before. I can go on and on...


As for settling in, God has blessed me with a room I'm renting that's only 3 blocks from the seminary! It's only $330/month (utilities included)! It's a six bedroom house that I share with 5 undergrad students who all go to Multnomah's bible college. Next thing to tackle is a job, which I've been fervently searching for. I've put applications in to several places that I think would be a good fit, but it seems that everytime I submit my resume to them, they inform me that the process will take a week or so before I am to hear back from them. I'm just going to keep plugging away. I trust God's timing and his provision for me in the mean time. I praise Him for allowing me to be flat broke so that I'm learning lessons in hyper-sensitive frugile money management like never before. I can now make a dollar stretch longer that I ever have before! Sweet!

I've been connecting with Imago Dei Community church here in Portland as well. From hanging at a couple of home community groups, to checking out the service held at Franklin High School, I'm super pumped about a project I'll be investing into Sept 8th. It's called LOVE PORTLAND(http://www.loveportland.org/), and just about the whole church is in on it. We're focusing in on 7 different restoration projects: five schools, a transitional home for the homeless, and HollyWood Theater. Teams of 100 to 150 people will be working that Saturday at each location from 9a to 5p to bring new life in the name of Jesus to these areas. Our home community group has adopted the HollyWood Theater location to begin interior work, to use the facility for educational tuduring programs. Please keep Imago and the community we're serving in your prayers.
As for school, I went to my first 2 classes today, Christian Theology and Old Testiment. I'm so greatful to have awesome professors teaching me God's word and bringing new life to the scriptures. I know it's not going to be easy, especially as I looked over the amount of intense reading I'm about to step into, but it's going to be so worth it.

Thanks for reading and keeping in touch. Please continue to pray for my financial situation, that a job will find it's way to me soon. I'm also looking into the possiblity of moving to SE Portland to be in community with some guys from Imago as we look at what it really means to penetrate the lives of those who are poor and hurting, to walk beside them closely while showing Christs' unending love for them.

Love ya'll

check out the Imago's LovePortland Vid below (That's my friend Clark Blakeman who let me stay at his place while I was searching for a room to rent. Thanks Clark, You Da Man!):

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Hello Portland!

That's right! I have arrived! After traveling almost 3500 miles (spending close to $400 on gasoline by the way) I have settled down here in northeast Portland. I'm staying at my good friend Clark Blakeman's house for the week while I scope out room's for rent in the neighborhood. Monday night when Carmel and I arrived we spent the evening eating a delicious picnic Chinese dinner by the river walk area downtown. We watched the sunset not only on the day, but also on our time together this summer. Precious moments... Yesterday morning I took her to the airport where we said our final tearful goodbyes. A peace came over me as I began walking away that I can't quite put into words. God has become so much bigger than I ever thought possible while being in a relationship with Carmel. I trust Him more and more with each passing day.

I ask for your prayers as I hit the ground running in search of a permenant place to live. Next will be the search for partime work once I get my class schedule during registration next Thursday. I would also love it if you could pray for some clarity and wisdom in a decision I need to make this week whether or not to cut back on the amount of hours I'll be taking this semister due to a lack of funds. Less time in class means more time I can work and enter into community activities. Maybe a lack of financial aid is God's way of balancing out the academics with the application. I'm cool with whatever His plan is. It's always so much better than the crazy one's I come up with.

Peace,
ben

PS. Here's my new mailing address for the next 3 years or so:

Ben Malick
8435 NE Glisan St #426
Portland OR 97220